I'm pretty sure it's Saturday, but my work week was only three days in person, so it feels more like Friday. Regardless, caffeine is needed to adult, and I'm drinking it as fast as I can. They always said there would be a time when my kids would kind of outgrow me, so to speak. Yeah right. They never hit the teenage phase to begin with. Michael fell in love with one of my favorite bands, and we spent an hour this morning nerding out about it. He got to be in the pit for them at Sonic Temple and fell headfirst into love with them. So it's been a blast going through their discography with him.
I learned recently that not everyone feels music. Some people just listen to it, and frankly, that blew my mind. Like some people don't get goosebumps or get that zing when a note hits just right. It's a gift from my biological parents because it's apparently genetic, and all three of my kids do the same thing. I can't imagine living in a world where I couldn't process emotion through music. It's been one of my biggest coping mechanisms since I was tiny. Thankfully, everyone around me has always indulged me in my wickedly intense love of music. Because I can't imagine being robbed of the ability to fall in love with song after song. But that does explain why other people are so passionate about other things in life. Maybe they have that attachment to their hobbies or whatever. That's kind of cool to think about. Now, the people who feel no strong attachment to things just baffle me. I have learned that those also exist, and frankly, you terrify me. Give me the passionate weirdo who nerds out about stuff they love any day over someone who is just blank. I don't think I know how to relate to people who are just meh about everything.
I feel all the emotions all the time, and it's not just my bipolar. haha. It's in general. Like this morning, Michael was telling me about a polite spider, and I was like, yes, that's my kid. I talk to everything, alive or not. I will carry on a conversation with a neat spider chilling near me. I talk to the birds that stop and visit my window every day. I talk to inanimate objects as well. Why? I dunno, I just always have. To me, everyone and everything has a personality and a purpose. I guess it's that whole "energy cannot be created or destroyed, it just exists" thing. But I am a very big believer in soul families instead of blood families. Part of it is because I've collected my family as I've gone through life instead of having blood ties to anyone. (Except my kids because they're obviously blood-related to me.) I guess that's probably a thing for adopted kids. But it's a thing, and I've been so fortunate to meet a lot of the people who were meant to be mine as the years have gone by. It's pretty cool to meet those people and just click with them. It's how I've met the majority of the people who I'm still incredibly close to. A lot of you know I have chosen parents. We're very similar in personality and in lifestyle beliefs, even though they're a couple of decades older than me. I met them in a really unique way that we cherish to this day. So that has always been a really cool part of life for me that I have always been thankful for. And if that's a trait from my biological parents, then hats off to them. I would, however, like them to take the bipolar back because that's just rude. Haha.
Though I have to admit, on the mental health front, things have been chill. My new psych doc is incredibly good at educating me on the chemistry part of meds and how they affect mental illness. So that's been really cool to learn about. But everything has been good. I'm a very happy and healthy bean and pretty grateful for it. Though I really can't remember when my next psych appointment is, I might want to remember to call them. I'll forget at least five more times before I remember to do that. I dunno why that's just how my squirrel brain works.
Our floor at work got renovated, and it's a little unnerving because why are the desks so short? I think they think that elves work there. I'm on the short side, so they fit me fine, but I feel bad for the tall people. It all looks like perfect soldiers lined up, which was probably their intention. But I kinda miss the individuality of the office, where it had lots of character. Though I did get my own office of sorts, so I really can't complain. My boss did me a big solid on that front. So there will be no complaining on my end because my little corner of the world is super cozy even if it is teaming with work. I guess that's job security because my workload never slows down.
Next month is my birthday month, so it's practically time for Halloween. I'm kidding, or am I? Haha. We decorate for Halloween on August first because that's the anniversary of Jackson's passing. I can't believe it's been almost three years since I lost my tiny best friend, but time does indeed keep moving. I thought about the possibility of getting another bun, but Jax was so unique and so much like a dog that I just don't think I'll ever find another like him. It would break my heart to have a bun that didn't constantly want to snuggle like Jax did. So I've tabled the idea of getting another furbaby. Maybe one day, but definitely not today. Instead, I'll be happy to be grandma to Luna and Pepper, who are Michael's babies. Well, and a parent to Yuki, who is happily now bonded to Michael's kitties. I worried that she wouldn't bond well because she was so close to Jackson. But my baby girl is a herd kitty who loves life more as a bonded girl. So she's happy and thriving, which is all we want for her.
My adderall has kicked in, so I guess I should focus on being productive. I mean or I could just read a book and the odds of that happening are pretty good.
Whatever you do I hope happiness finds you and life is exactly what you need it to be.
~Until next time, be good to each other.~