Spooky Time!

My legs may or may not fall off from swimming for a gazillion hours. I have zero regrets because being able to log out of work and spend a week hanging out with my kiddos is such an amazing experience. It’s crazy to think we’ve been doing this vacation together for years now. They look forward to it just as much as I do, which is really cool. The only downside of vacation is doing laundry when you come back. I'm fairly sure I now have my own little ocean living somewhere in my washer but that's a tomorrow problem. You come back from vacation all relaxed and ready to take on the work week and then the work week starts and you're like I didn't sign up for this. Haha. So, the laundry monster did indeed need wrangled but I'm happy to say that I only have one load left to fold and put away. Granted I forgot about that load until just now but it's just one load regardless. I have, as I famously do, completely ruin my sleep schedule. So, Monday felt like fresh hell but that’s to be expected. I mean I wasn't too grumpy because I love my job but, morning.

October who? Spooky season started the moment I got home. My cart already had an array of Fall candles in it because, Summer who? I also ordered some really rude cookie cutters in Fall shapes because they are hilarious. One says, "Please go die" and I laugh every time I look at it. I finally had squash for the first time and absolutely loved it. For the non-UK peeps it’s a drink mix you put in water and it’s divine. Think Tang but so much better. I also have in my possession one of my very favorite British things. If you have never had Salad Cream, you are heavy missing out. I almost bought some mince pies, vegetarian of course, but barely refrained. If I want them that bad, I can always make my own at home. I probably won’t but the option is there.

I may or may not have laid so wrong that I pulled a muscle in my side. Can I give that side effect of aging back because no thanks. I need one of those side effects of aging to be something awesome like winning the lottery. I say that like I play the lottery. I don’t but it would be a fun hobby to start if I knew I’d actually win money. 

I need to start my new antipsychotic that I got lectured about because I've been procrastinating. I'm in complete denial that I need an antipsychotic linked to the big scary S word. My life bingo card said no so I promptly found a sandy beach to bury my head in. Funny because I was just in Florida but also accurate. Kidding you can't breathe with your head in the sand. Maybe that was a missed opportunity on my part? Kidding. 

We all know that one person who word vomits. If you don't know one of those people you are that person. If I know you, and I like you, I will word vomit all over you pretty much 24/7. Legit my other half almost lost his eardrums on the phone when me and one of my besties were hanging out. T and I got laughing at each other’s random nonsense and he had to turn the volume down. I don't even remember why we were dying laughing. He was like you might have forgotten to breathe. Which of course lead to another bout of us crying laughing. I don't know why we're like this, but I love my bestie so much. So now he's fully aware of just how ridiculous we get when we are together. Pray for him. His ears might just need it when he meets the other two.

Being able to just be stupid with my friends is peak relaxation. I did however kill one of my favorite pairs of headphones in the pool. I should probably just be thankful that the ocean didn't eat another pair of my sunglasses. Though the dolphins swimming with us would have looked really cool wearing them. We only saw maybe one shark. It could have been a sea cow, but we didn't stop to find out. It was past the buoys, so we just let it do its thing. It was interesting being there shortly after a storm/hurricane. The ocean was clean, but the sand was in these interesting patterns under the water. It was almost like there were shelves and the water was really shallow. The little fishes were swimming clear up to the beach. Which probably explains the pods of dolphins, but it was really cool. 

On the way home on the radio somebody said that Labor Day was like 2 weeks away and I was slightly confused. Then the kiddos mentioned that football was starting soon. One I had forgotten that Labor Day was a thing, and two how is it already almost September? Yea I'm not sure how I forgot about it either, but I did. I swear every year January and February last 15 years and then the rest of the year you just blink and it's over. It will be 2025 here in like 4 months so I hope everybody is ready for Christmas. Because I'm 99.9% sure that if you blink it will be here tomorrow. So, ah, please don't blink because none of us are actually ready. On the plus side we've reached the time of year when there is a holiday once a month. So, there is that to look forward to.

~Until next time, be good to each other.~

Dumpster Fires

It’s the last Saturday before vacation and I have a pile of laundry that I’m pretty sure now lives on my bed. This was definitely a hells front porch kinda week where the outside just breathed all over you. It was so rude because it didn’t even ask for permission. It just heavy breathed all over you all the time. Gotta love Ohio humidity. I shouldn’t complain because in no time mother nature is gonna rain all over me just for fun.

I’m never prepared for my life. You would think after doing this thing for 46 years I’d expect things. But I don’t and as always get caught off guard by the smallest things. Some guy looked at me like I was a lab experiment and I just looked at him confused. Like homie. I’m just over here walking and living my life why you gotta be all rude and shit? His shoes were ugly though and that puddle was kinda deep, so I guess he got what was coming to him. There’s nothing worse than squishy socks when you’re in a hurry.

People confuse me in general sometimes and I know I can be kinda chaotic. But I’ve never figured out why some people are just hella negative for seemingly no reason. No, I don’t want to hear how much you hate everything. Life owes you nada but here you are complaining and spreading bad vibes all over the place. There needs to be Lysol for bad vibes and energy vampires because they’d make a fortune.

People are weird. I keep saying that but it’s true. People do the weirdest things and just expect you to think it’s normal. Like no Tracy I in fact do not need you to tell me how to live my life or make decisions. We’re literally two completely different people and my life is my actual own. I don’t know where the concept of needing someone else’s approval to make decisions comes from but no thanks. I am indeed completely capable of making my own decisions. They might not be something you would do but I’m not you. Haha.

There’s always that person who thinks they know more, or you should be more like them. When the truth is what they know or would do doesn’t mean anything. It just seems like a strange concept to me that people expect you to take advice from them. But their life literally looks like a dumpster fire. Homie I’m completely capable of creating a dumpster fire but that’s not what I’m tryna do here. Why does it matter if you think red is best and I like blue more. Why is my choice of blue offensive and why are you hurt that I chose something you didn’t? I really want to know the answers to these questions because logically it doesn’t make any sense.

That’s a brain bender for me and it honestly gives me a headache. I just thought of a good example. It’s like when people see my facial piercings and go “No, I wouldn’t do that” in distaste. Okay don’t pierce your face then but what does that have to do with my face? I understand societal expectations and all that stuff, but I don’t understand it. You are a dumpster fire; can you please focus on that instead? We’re all dumpster fires who have our own shit to sift through. If we spent as much time on our dumpster fires instead of others we might get somewhere.

When someone says no that’s not an invitation to tell them why you think they’re wrong. Bodily autonomy is a thing fam and there’s nothing quite as toxic as someone who does that. I’m stubborn, I’ll do the exact opposite just to watch their head explode. Haha. Like here, that makes you uncomfy let me do much more of that, so you go away and stop trying to tell me what to do. I mean you might as well have fun with it. Never in the history of someone telling me what to do have I ever done what they told me to do.

So many of you are laughing right now with good reason. Don’t invite me to a tea party if I can’t wear my dino shorts. Or invite me to a cookout and expect me to look like Martha Stewart. How do people even maintain that look in public in the middle of summer? Like how does one stay so perfectly presentable? I’m the one melting in the heat, wearing battered sneakers, and forgetting not to say the F word. There’s always someone telling me I cuss too much. Or they’ll say I’m so quiet. Stop laughing. Haha. I’m actually a goofy chaotic tornado when I’m around people I enjoy. I’m simultaneously the mom of my friend group and the utterly unhinged one. I’ll keep you from bodily harm and getting arrested but otherwise all bets are off. To the people who always go “you’ll embarrass your kids!” They obviously haven’t met my kids.

Live your life on your terms and ignore all of the negative Nancy’s out there trying to hold you to their standards. They’re still a dumpster fire even if they spray perfume on it and look like everyone else. I’m going to go finish packing.

~Until next time, be good to each other.~