I dunno how it’s already Saturday, but more importantly, where the hell did April go? I bought a new swimsuit today and didn’t hate myself in it. I also decided to start a skincare regimen because my ass is creeping up on 50. Shut up, I can hear you laughing, I will one day be tall enough to be my age. Okay probably not but I like to think I’ll eventually get taller instead of shorter. I got a walking pad for my apartment this week for the days when it’s garbo outside. The box was at least 6’5” not to mention it was heavy as all hell. Well at least was until the walking pad started hanging out on my floor. But I’m pretty sure my neighbor almost hit a curb laughing at the sight of me trying to get the box into the dumpster. I hate tall people. Haha. I got it in the dumpster but not before having to practically climb in the dumpster. I swear I’m going to be that old person who smacks dumpsters with their cane or walker and cusses them out for funsies. If not that I’ll definitely be the one who bites people or pulls the fire alarm. My friends all think we should be in the same nursing home to terrorize the world. But I’m pretty sure we’d just get kicked out for bad behavior. But no one would be surprised by me being the ringleader of a tiny ornery mob. Ha.
I had an
incredibly dope week. Mentally it was, I’m not sure because I don’t remember. I
have either developed a whistle hallucination or someone nearby really loves
baseball. Either way, it’s more baffling than worrisome though I did have a
whole person walk up to me at work. Its shadow self just moseyed over to me and
I was so confused. LOL. It only happened once but I was cracking up after. But
overall it was a great week and I have no complaints. Okay, maybe one. The
Spring cleaning bug bit me hard! I’m not sure that is worthy of a complaint
because even though my house currently smells like popcorn it is really clean.
I even tackled the insanely difficult problem of packing away my winter
clothes. Which of course means I’ll just buy a bunch more clothes, but come on,
it would be weird if I didn’t.
There are some
things I had on my vision board that are currently coming to fruition. The last
couple of years have been interesting, to say the least. Some parts were the absolute
worst but some parts were the best. There’s always a little bit of balance in
life that requires flexibility. No one week is going to be your entire story.
The rest of it is written bit by bit as you do this crazy thing called life.
You aren’t always going to get what you want and you have to learn to be
content with that. We as people go one of two ways typically. Either the sky is
always falling and you don’t deserve anything. Or it’s always sunny and you
believe that you can make your dreams come true. Happiness is usually somewhere
in the middle.
Sometimes we
get so used to holding onto stuff we should let go that we forget we deserve
better. Just because you spent a lot of time making a mistake doesn’t mean you
have to do it that way forever. You’re allowed to change. As people we evolve
and our evolution does require a certain amount of self-awareness. You can
blame everything on someone else or you can accept your mistakes and grow. Growing
is often very uncomfy and that no one loves but if it means you’ll be happier
in life then you gotta put the work in.
Other people
don’t have the right or authority to tell you who you are or should be. That’s
not their place, it’s your responsibility to be who you are or think you should
be. People think I’m really confident and sure of myself and to a degree they’re
right. Truthfully I just don’t care about other people's expectations. It’s not
your responsibility to be what people expect you to be. It’s your
responsibility to be you, their expectations are their problem. There’s a big difference
between knowing someone and actually knowing someone. A thousand people can
know you but unless they take the time to get to know you they know nothing.
You can spend large amounts of time constantly around people and still not
actually know them. Getting to know someone requires you to check your
expectations at the door. Just because you expect someone to be a certain
person doesn’t mean they have a responsibility to be that person.
That’s where
a lot of people mess up, they expect people to be a certain person. Then they
get offended or upset when you don’t turn into that person. You’re under no
obligation to say yes when you want to say no. Say no. Being a people pleaser
and saying yes doesn’t get you anything in the long run. Because you’re
probably breaking your back for someone who’s never made any attempt to get to
know you. If people actually knew you and understood you they wouldn’t expect a
yes when you need to say no. It’s called mutual respect. You say no because it’s
what you need or who you are. That doesn't mean someone should make you say yes
or entertain a situation that pits you against each other. It’s not high school
you deserve peace and that sometimes requires healthy boundaries that are
enforced.
There are
people I know that when I tell them who I am they argue with me. If I say blue
is my favorite color you can’t tell me purple is my favorite color and be
right. Indigo blue has been my favorite color my entire life. I know a lot of
people say since I wear a lot of black it has to be my favorite color. You’re
technically almost correct. My favorite colors are indigo blue and black, but black
isn’t actually a color. Black is the absence of color and therefore can’t
actually be a favorite color. There’s a big difference between someone knowing
you and someone projecting their expectations on you.
So go out
there and unapologetically be your amazing self. Set healthy boundaries and say
no to anyone you want to. You deserve the peace and happiness that comes with it.
~Until next
time, be good to each other.~
*This blog almost got named olives. Because an olive fell off my keyboard and attacked my laptop. 😂